Listening: A Loving Gift to your Partner

All this week, we've been surrounded with displays of romance. Flowers, chocolates, and jewelry are nice, but a more meaningful gift you can give anyone you love is the gift of listening.

In 2018 I read about a study where the researchers measured cortisol (stress hormone) levels in subjects’ spit before and after talking with their significant others about a problem. They pinpointed the best things partners can do in these conversations to reduce stress levels.

• Acknowledge the person is feeling stress, even if the situation doesn’t seem that stressful to you. Dismissing the problem doesn’t help.
• Communicate both verbally (e.g. asking questions) and nonverbally (e.g. making eye contact, nodding, and touching). All these things can make cortisol levels go down, and the person is likely to reevaluate the problem in a less-stressed light.
•  Listen and understand. Don’t offer advice unless the person asks for it; simply legitimize his or her feelings. This can help subdue strong emotional reactions.

High levels of cortisol can lead to sleep problems, headaches, and poor concentration. High cortisol levels gradually wear the body down and contribute to poor health in general.

Your loving support for a loved one, if done correctly, can help him or her have better quality of life. It’s a gift you can keep giving all year long.

Author

Satu H. Woodland, PMHCNS-BC, APRN Satu Woodland is owner and clinician of Hope Mental Health, an integrative mental health practice located at Bown Crossing in Boise, Idaho. She sees children, adolescents, and adults.  Ms. Woodland with her background in nursing, prefers a holistic and integrative approach to mental health care that addresses the mind and body together. While Ms. Woodland provides medication management services in all her patients, she believes in long-lasting solutions that include a number of psychotherapies, namely cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure and response prevention therapy, attention to lifestyle, evidenced based alternative psychiatric care and spirituality. If you’d like to gain control over your mental health issues, call Hope Mental Health at 208-918-0958, or use the online scheduling tool to set up an initial consultation.